How to Recognise a Responsible Medium: Good Signs and Red Flags

By Dr. Rashhi Sharma and Prabhat Sharma·Ethics & Care·21 minute read

Short answer

A responsible medium explains their work clearly, never guarantees contact with a particular person, offers specific information rather than fishing for it, accepts it when you do not recognise something, protects your privacy, is open about fees, treats grief with care and leaves your decisions to you. The clearest red flags are claims of curses or danger, demands for more money to remove them, predictions of death or illness, constant leading questions, pressure to keep things secret, and any attempt to stop you ending the sitting. These qualities cannot prove that someone communicates with the dead, but they show how safely and honestly they practise.

Finding a medium you can trust is not always straightforward. You may be curious about life after death, interested in spiritual communication, or hoping for a meaningful connection with someone you have lost. Whatever brings you to a sitting, you deserve honesty, sensitivity and respect.

A polished website, enthusiastic testimonials or a reputation for extraordinary experiences does not tell you how a medium actually works. Equally, someone may be entirely sincere in their spiritual beliefs without having developed the skills or ethical awareness needed to work responsibly with other people.

This guide sets out what to look for before booking, what should make you reconsider, how to understand what happens in a reading, and what to do if something goes wrong. It is written to be useful whether you believe in spirit communication, are undecided, or simply want to protect yourself. It does not recommend or rank individual mediums: the criteria are for you to apply, including to us.

A responsible medium is not necessarily the one who gives the most impressive reading. It is the one whose practice shows honesty, clear boundaries, respect for the sitter and accountability.

In this article

1. What “genuine medium” really means
2. Eight good signs
3. Ten red flags
4. Cold reading and hot reading
5. Do certificates prove anything?
6. Questions to ask before booking
7. Your rights during a sitting
8. Evaluating a reading afterwards
9. Grief and emotional dependency
10. If you suspect a scam

1. What Does It Mean to Be a “Genuine” Medium?

People often search for a genuine medium because they want someone who can truly communicate with the spirit world, rather than someone who is guessing, misleading them or taking advantage of their circumstances.

Within the Spiritualist tradition, mediumship is understood as communication with someone who has died. In evidential mediumship, the practitioner attempts to convey specific information associated with a spirit communicator, so that the person receiving the reading, the sitter, can recognise who is being described. This is different from giving advice, making predictions, or describing someone's present emotional circumstances.

The word genuine needs care. A medium may sincerely believe they communicate with spirit, but sincerity alone does not establish the source or accuracy of what they say. Another medium may give a reading with several accurate details; that may be deeply meaningful to the sitter, but it does not independently prove that the information came from a person who has died. Controlled research into mediumship remains contested, as our article Can Mediumship Be Learned? explains, and there is no accepted test that can certify someone as a genuine communicator with the dead.

So it helps to ask two separate questions:

Question one

Is this medium practising responsibly?

Question two

Does what they offer give me a meaningful basis for recognising the person described?

Both matter. Neither should be answered by the medium's confidence, fame or reputation alone. The rest of this guide helps you answer both.

Responsible practice

• Explains what kind of sitting they offer
• Promises no particular communicator
• Offers specific information before asking
• Accepts “I don't recognise that”
• Clear fees, agreed in advance
• Asks consent before recording or sharing
• Suggests other support when needed
• Leaves your decisions to you

Warning signs

• Curses, blocks or danger to be removed
• Guarantees contact or accuracy
• Fishes with questions, then repeats your answers
• Insists every statement is correct
• Escalating payments for “protection”
• Predicts death, illness or disaster
• Demands secrecy or exclusive access
• Will not let you end the sitting

2. Eight Good Signs of a Responsible Medium

1. They explain their work, and its limits, clearly

Before booking, you should be able to understand what kind of reading is offered: evidential mediumship, psychic reading, trance mediumship or another form of spiritual work. These can overlap, but they are not the same (our guide to the types of mediumship explains the differences). A responsible evidential medium can tell you that their aim is to convey information attributed to someone who has died, not to predict your future, and will acknowledge that not every sitting produces information the sitter recognises. Clear explanations are worth more than claims of powers beyond question.

2. They do not guarantee contact with a particular person

You may hope to hear from a parent, partner, child or friend. A responsible medium understands that hope, but within Spiritualist teaching, communication is understood as something that cannot be commanded. No medium should promise that a particular person will come through in a booked sitting. Sometimes someone unexpected is described; sometimes nothing the sitter recognises develops at all. That uncertainty should be explained before you pay, not explained away afterwards. Be especially cautious of anyone who guarantees contact with a named person for an extra fee.

3. They understand what recognisable evidence is

“Your grandmother loved you very much” may be comforting, but it could apply to almost anyone. Information about a person's distinctive personality, relationships, habits, memories and experiences gives a far more meaningful basis for recognition, especially when several details fit together into one coherent person. The details should come from the medium, not from the medium repeatedly asking you to supply what is missing. And you decide what you recognise: a responsible medium does not demand agreement.

4. They can accept being wrong

One of the most revealing things about any medium is how they respond when information is not recognised. A responsible practitioner can accept that an impression may have been misunderstood, misinterpreted or simply not relevant to you, without defending every statement. You should be able to say that something is unclear, partly familiar or incorrect, without embarrassment or pressure. A medium may occasionally invite you to check something later, but that should never turn an unrecognised statement into an automatic success.

5. They treat grief with sensitivity

Many people seek a sitting after a bereavement, when grief may bring longing, unanswered questions, guilt, anger and a profound wish to feel close to the person who has died. A responsible medium never uses that distress to create an impression of spiritual authority. They avoid graphic descriptions of suffering, sensational claims about death, and messages that create fear or guilt. They also recognise when someone's needs would be better met by bereavement counselling, mental-health care or another professional. A sitting may be meaningful or comforting, but it is not a substitute for grief support.

6. They respect consent, privacy and boundaries

A claim to receive spiritual information never gives anyone unrestricted access to your private life. You decide whether to take part, what to share, and whether to continue with a subject. A responsible medium does not disclose your experiences, family circumstances or identifying details without permission, and asks for your consent before recording a sitting or using any part of it in a testimonial, social media post or teaching demonstration. The same care applies to information about other living people who have not agreed to be discussed.

7. They are open about fees and their background

You should know what you are paying for before you agree: the length of the sitting, the total price, how payment works, and the cancellation and refund terms. The price itself tells you nothing about competence. It is also reasonable to ask about training and experience. What matters is whether the information is accurate: attending a course at a respected college is not the same as being accredited or endorsed by it. Section 5 explains how to tell the difference between kinds of credential.

8. They encourage your independence

A responsible medium does not want you to depend on repeated readings. You should be free to reflect on a sitting, question it, and decide for yourself whether it was meaningful. The medium should never suggest that important decisions need the approval of the spirit world, or tell you to end relationships, change medication, make major financial decisions or abandon other sources of support because of a message. You remain responsible for your own choices, and a good sitting leaves your independence intact.

These signs are not just our view. A peer-reviewed code of ethics for mediums published in 2025 sets out the same principles: explicit consent, confidentiality, transparent fees, competence through training and skills assessment, referral to other professionals when needs go beyond a medium's role, and respect for the sitter's free will, with particular care for people who are grieving. The authors note that no governing body currently requires mediums to follow such a code¹, which is why knowing what to look for matters.

3. Ten Red Flags You Should Not Ignore

Not every inaccurate reading is deliberately deceptive; a sincere practitioner can make mistakes. Some warning signs point to poor professional conduct, while others may indicate manipulation, financial exploitation or outright fraud. Consumer-protection guidance describes a familiar pattern: a promise to lift a curse or bring good fortune, followed by payments that keep growing while the promised result never arrives⁶. The behaviours below deserve real caution.

1. They claim you are cursed, blocked or in dangerBe very cautious if someone says a curse, evil spirit, negative entity or inherited problem is behind your difficulties, especially if only they can remove it. A medium should never create a threat and then offer to remove it for money.
2. They demand more money for spiritual protectionAn inexpensive reading becomes repeated payments to complete a ritual, lift a curse or prevent harm, often increasing each time. You are never obliged to keep paying, and if you have already paid, you are still entitled to stop.
3. They predict death, illness or disasterPredictions that you or someone you love will die, fall ill or face catastrophe are not responsible evidential mediumship. Spiritual impressions must never be presented as medical diagnoses or inevitable events, or used to make you come back.
4. They ask leading questions, then present your answers as evidence“Have you lost an older relative?” “Did someone have breathing problems?” “Does the letter M mean anything?” If your answers then reappear as received information, the reading has lost its evidential value.
5. Every statement is declared correctIf you say something is unfamiliar and are told you have forgotten, a relative is hiding it, or you will find out later, take note. A reading is not reliable because every response has been reinterpreted as confirmation.
6. They claim exclusive access to your loved onesBe cautious if you are told a family member will communicate only through them, or that you must keep booking to “maintain the connection”. No one should use your love for someone who has died to gain authority over you.
7. They pressure you to keep things secretPrivacy is appropriate; secrecy imposed through fear is not. If you are told not to discuss their demands with family or friends, particularly where money is involved, step back. You are always free to seek another opinion.
8. They promise guaranteed accuracy or resultsGuaranteed contact, completely accurate readings, or proof that every message is from spirit should be treated critically. Testimonials cannot justify such promises, and UK advertising guidance warns that claims of accurate readings are likely to be problematic⁷.
9. They contact you unexpectedly with an “urgent message”An unsolicited message claiming a medium has received something urgent for you is a reason for caution, especially if it asks for payment or personal details. Fraudsters also impersonate well-known mediums, so verify identity through contact details you have found yourself.
10. They ignore your right to end the sittingYou never have to justify stopping. If a practitioner becomes angry or intimidating when you question something, decline an extra service or ask to finish, the interaction is no longer respectful. You may leave or disconnect without their agreement.

4. Understanding Cold Reading, Hot Reading and Honest Uncertainty

When you assess a sitting, it helps to understand how a reading can seem convincing without any confirmed spirit communication. Two terms are widely discussed in psychical research⁴:

Cold reading

Creating an impression of special insight through observation, general statements, questions and the sitter's own reactions. The sitter tends to remember the striking “hits” and forget the guesswork that led to them.

Hot reading

Using information gathered beforehand, increasingly from the internet and social media, and presenting it as though it were received during the sitting.

Part of what makes general statements feel personal is a well-documented effect in psychology. In a classic 1949 experiment, students were each given the same “personal” description, built from general statements, and on average rated it as a highly accurate description of themselves⁵. The same can happen in a reading:

Statement“I have an older man here: protective and loving, but he could be stubborn, and he didn't always say what he felt.”

Why it feels specificIt fits a great many fathers, grandfathers and uncles. The sitter supplies the particular person from their own memories.

What is more evidentialSpecific, connected details that together could fit only one person, offered before the sitter has given any information.

These possibilities matter because many people share family photographs, bereavement notices, anniversaries and personal histories online. Their existence does not mean every medium is deceptive, and an ordinary mistake is not fraud. But they explain why transparency, specificity and honest feedback matter so much. A medium who already knows something about you should never imply that it came through spirit, and a statement does not become more evidential because you filled in the missing details.

5. Does a Certificate Prove That Someone Is a Genuine Medium?

No certificate can, by itself, prove that someone communicates with people who have died. Qualifications and assessments can, however, tell you something about the training and standards a practitioner has gone through.

In the United Kingdom, the Spiritualists' National Union runs training, assessment and awards for mediums working within its tradition, and its online directory lets you check whether someone holds an SNU award³. Other organisations elsewhere have their own systems.

A 2026 study in the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research compared English-language certification programmes for mediums. Of 35 programmes the researchers identified, only six met their criteria for inclusion. None required grief training or formal ethics training as part of certification, the published pass rates ranged from about 10% to over 80%, and how openly programmes explained their assessments varied widely. The authors called for common standards, particularly in grief training, ethics and transparent assessment².

That is why the word certified should never be accepted without explanation. It helps to know the difference between:

A record of studyThe person attended courses or workshops. It shows learning, not assessment.

A certificate of completionThe person completed a programme. It confirms participation, not professional competence.

An independently assessed awardThe person's practical work was formally assessed against published standards by an organisation.

A professional titleA role or title, which may or may not be linked to assessment. Ask who granted it and on what basis.

Ask what was assessed, who issued the award, and whether it can be checked independently with the issuing organisation. Equally, the absence of a particular credential is not proof of dishonesty. Credentials tell you about education and assessment; they do not replace your own judgement of how a practitioner behaves.

6. Five Questions to Ask Before Booking

You do not need to investigate a medium before every appointment, but a few direct questions show a great deal. You should never feel embarrassed for asking.

AskWhat kind of sitting do you offer: evidential mediumship, a psychic reading, or something else?

AskWhat can I reasonably expect, and what can you not promise?

AskWhat information do you need from me beforehand, and why?

AskWhat is the total fee, how long is the sitting, and what are the cancellation and refund terms?

AskIs the sitting private? Will it be recorded, and how is my information protected?

Basic booking details are reasonable; a detailed family history before an evidential sitting usually is not necessary. A practitioner who answers clearly and respectfully is already showing you something important about how they work. For online sittings, also check that you are dealing with the person you think you are, using contact details you have found independently, and pay only through a method that gives you some protection.

7. During the Sitting: Your Rights as a Sitter

Some people believe they must stay completely silent in a sitting, or agree with whatever is said. Neither is true. In evidential mediumship, your recognition is what matters, and you have every right to:

• say clearly what you recognise, what is partly familiar and what you do not recognise;
• give short, truthful answers (“yes”, “no”, “I'm not sure”) without supplying your family history;
• ask for clarification when something is confusing;
• decline to explore a subject that feels too private or painful;
• refuse any instruction about relationships, health, money or personal decisions;
• end the sitting at any point, without explanation.

What if the information is not recognised?

There is no obligation to make it fit. A sitting can feel meaningful while some details remain uncertain or incorrect, and you are allowed to hold both at once. If you want to review it later, notes made straight afterwards, or a recording made with mutual consent, help you separate what was actually said from interpretations made later. That is especially useful when a reading contains many statements. Do not feel obliged to turn every uncertain statement into a search for confirmation.

8. How to Evaluate a Reading Afterwards

A meaningful experience and an evidentially strong reading are not necessarily the same thing. One person leaves comforted because the words were kind and relevant to their situation; another values one particular detail that described someone exactly. Both can matter. Evaluating a reading responsibly, though, means looking beyond its emotional impact:

• What did the medium offer before you responded?
• Was it specific enough to distinguish one person from many others?
• Did several details form a coherent description of one person?
• Which statements did you recognise, and which did you not?
• Could any of it have come from an ordinary source, such as social media or a mutual acquaintance?
• Did your answers shape what the medium said next?

These questions need not turn a personal experience into a confrontation. They simply help you see what actually happened. An accurate or emotionally powerful sitting does not, by itself, scientifically establish communication with the dead; equally, a reading that did not meet your hopes is not automatically fraud. It is possible to value an experience while remaining honest about what it can and cannot show.

9. Mediumship, Grief and the Risk of Emotional Dependency

After someone dies, it is natural to miss their presence, replay conversations and wish for one more chance to speak with them. Bereavement research recognises that continuing to feel connected to someone who has died is a normal part of grief, and can be helpful⁸. For some people, mediumship is part of their personal or spiritual response to loss.

A sitting may bring comfort, but no medium should promise that it will resolve grief or provide closure. There is a difference between choosing to return for another sitting and feeling unable to cope without continued contact through a medium. Gently notice if you find yourself:

• booking sittings more and more often, or with several mediums at once;
• spending money you cannot comfortably afford;
• feeling unable to make decisions without a reading;
• feeling worse, not better, in the days after a sitting;
• pulling away from the people and support around you.

These may be signs that a different kind of support would help, such as a bereavement counsellor, a doctor or a grief support group. A responsible medium will say so too. Your relationship with the person you have lost does not depend on repeated paid communication. Its memory, love and meaning belong to you, not to the medium.

If grief feels overwhelmingPlease speak to a doctor or counsellor. In India, Tele-MANAS offers free 24-hour mental-health support on 14416¹⁰; elsewhere, contact your local health services.

10. What to Do If You Suspect a Mediumship Scam

If someone has threatened you with spiritual consequences, demanded repeated payments, or claimed you must pay to prevent harm, you do not need to prove their claims false before you act. Your safety, your money and your personal information come first.

1

Stop communicating and stop paying. Do not send more money to resolve a supposed spiritual emergency, however urgent it is made to sound.

2

Keep the evidence. Save messages, receipts, payment details, profile names and links.

3

Contact your bank or payment provider quickly. If you have paid or shared financial details, ask what protective steps are available.

4

Report it. In India, report online fraud on the National Cyber Crime Reporting Portal, cybercrime.gov.in, or call the financial-fraud helpline 1930, as soon as possible⁹. Elsewhere, use your national fraud-reporting service or the local police.

5

Talk to someone you trust. People who have been targeted often feel ashamed. They should not: these schemes are designed to exploit hope and love, especially in grief.

Some Indian states, including Karnataka and Maharashtra, also have laws against exploitative “black magic” practices; our guide to mediumship training in India outlines them.

11. The School of Mediumship's Approach to Responsible Practice

At The School of Mediumship, established by Soul Consciousness Lab®, we believe ethical responsibility belongs in mediumship education from the very first day. A student may be enthusiastic, spiritually sensitive, or able to offer information a sitter recognises. None of those things removes the responsibility to communicate carefully.

• What we teach: the difference between an impression and its interpretation, how to develop recognisable evidence, and the sitter's freedom to evaluate what is communicated.
• How students practise: accepting uncertainty, avoiding leading questions, keeping confidentiality, and understanding the emotional responsibilities of private sittings.
• Where: Evidential Mediumship Level 1, taught by Dr. Rashhi Sharma and Prabhat Sharma through residential training, supervised exercises and constructive feedback.
• What we do not promise: that every student will develop a particular ability or become ready to practise professionally.
• The same standards apply to us: our faculty's personal sittings are arranged separately, and our Private Sittings page sets out the fee, length and format, and that no communicator, message or outcome can be promised. Please ask us any of the questions in this guide.

Our Ethics & Safety page sets out our approach to consent, confidentiality, sitter care and professional boundaries. We believe the standards taught to future mediums should reflect the respect that anyone receiving a sitting has the right to expect.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I find a genuine medium?

Look for clear information about the medium's work, experience, ethical standards, fees and booking terms. If they claim an accreditation, check it with the issuing organisation. Notice whether they respect consent, acknowledge uncertainty and avoid guarantees. No checklist can prove that someone communicates with people who have died, but these signs show how responsibly they practise.

Are online mediumship readings less trustworthy than in-person readings?

Not necessarily. The same ethical standards apply to both. Online readings need particular care with identity checks, privacy, recordings, payment security, and the possibility that information was found on social media. Meeting in person does not, by itself, prevent misleading practices.

Should I tell a medium who I want to contact?

You may share your hopes if you wish, but you do not need to give detailed personal information for an evidential sitting. Sharing little allows you to judge more clearly what is offered. Do mention any boundaries or circumstances that matter for your wellbeing.

Is it a red flag if a medium asks me questions during a sitting?

Not always. Brief questions such as “Can you take this?” or “Do you understand that?” are common. The concern is a pattern of broad questions that draw out information which is then presented back to you as evidence. Short, truthful answers protect the value of the sitting.

What if a medium gives accurate names or dates?

Specific, accurate information can be very meaningful, especially when it was offered before any feedback and could not easily have been known through ordinary means. Accuracy alone does not scientifically establish its source, so the whole sitting matters, including what was not recognised and where else the information could have come from.

Is an expensive medium more likely to be genuine?

No. There is no reliable link between a higher fee and greater accuracy or ethical standards. Compare the service, professional conduct, transparency and terms rather than using price as a measure of credibility.

Should I trust a medium with thousands of positive reviews?

Reviews can tell you how people experienced a service, but they do not verify mediumship claims. Look at whether reviews describe clear communication, respectful conduct and transparent fees, rather than relying on extraordinary testimonials alone.

Can a medium predict my future or tell me what to decide?

Evidential mediumship, as understood in the Spiritualist tradition, concerns communication attributed to people who have died, not fortune-telling. A responsible medium does not claim authority over your medical, legal, financial or relationship decisions.

A medium messaged me on social media with an urgent message. What should I do?

Do not reply with personal details or payment. Unsolicited “urgent messages” are a common opening for scams, and fraudsters often impersonate real mediums. If you want to contact a medium, use details you have found independently, such as their official website.

What if I feel uncomfortable during a sitting?

You can ask for clarification, decline to discuss a subject, or end the session. A responsible medium will respect these choices without intimidation, guilt or pressure to book again.

A Responsible Medium Should Never Ask You to Give Up Your Judgement

People come to a mediumship sitting with curiosity, belief, grief or deeply personal questions. Whatever the reason, the experience should never require you to give up your independence. A responsible medium can offer information without demanding acceptance, approach spiritual communication sincerely while being honest about uncertainty, accept what is not recognised, respect your boundaries, and recognise the limits of their role. You should be able to leave a sitting without fear, pressure or any sense of obligation to return.

Perhaps the most important sign of a responsible medium is not how much they claim to know, but how respectfully they respond to what they do not know.

That is a standard worth expecting from anyone who offers mediumship to the public.

About the authors

• 
  Dr. Rashhi Sharma, PhD

  Founder and Lead Trainer of The School of Mediumship. She studied mediumship with Suzanne Giesemann in the United States and in person at Arthur Findlay College and The College of Psychic Studies in the United Kingdom. Full profile

• 
  Prabhat Sharma

  Trainer at The School of Mediumship. He studied mediumship in person at Arthur Findlay College and The College of Psychic Studies in the United Kingdom, and co-teaches every day of Level 1. Full profile

Continue Exploring

• Evidential Mediumship ExplainedWhat recognisable evidence means, how information develops in a sitting, and why the sitter's response matters.Read the guide →
• Signs You May Be Sensitive to SpiritWhy personal spiritual experiences and the disciplined practice of mediumship are not the same thing.Read the article →
• Ethics & SafetyOur approach to confidentiality, informed consent, sitter care, professional boundaries and responsible teaching.Read our standards →

References

1. Zemel, S. K. and Wahbeh, H. (2025). Code of ethics for mediums and trance channelers. EXPLORE, 21(3), 103159. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2025.103159
2. Gallo, J., Wahbeh, H., Zemel, S. and Ruickbie, L. (2026). Evaluation of English-speaking medium and trance channeler certifications. Journal of the Society for Psychical Research, 90(3), 164–187. doi:10.63499/dswkb305. Summary: Institute of Noetic Sciences.
3. Spiritualists' National Union. Mediums & Award Holders: directory and accreditation standards.
4. Roe, C. A. Cold Reading. Psi Encyclopedia, Society for Psychical Research.
5. Forer, B. R. (1949). The fallacy of personal validation: a classroom demonstration of gullibility. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 44(1), 118–123.
6. United States Postal Inspection Service. Psychic scam: consumer guidance.
7. Advertising Standards Authority / CAP (UK). Psychics, spiritualists, fortune tellers, astrologers and clairvoyants.
8. Kamp, K. S. et al. (2020). Sensory and quasi-sensory experiences of the deceased in bereavement: an interdisciplinary and integrative review. Schizophrenia Bulletin, 46(6), 1367–1381.
9. Government of India. National Cyber Crime Reporting Portal; financial-fraud helpline 1930.
10. Government of India, Ministry of Health and Family Welfare. Tele-MANAS: toll-free national tele-mental health service, 14416.